Longing
by Mangusti
Summary: Hide had not expected to meet Haise in CCG's cafeteria.


_An AU, where Hide and Kaneki did not kiss in a sewer and no one realised to tell Hide about #240_

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The cafeteria of the Commission of Counter Ghoul was bustling with people. It was lunch time, and everyone were chatting with their workmates loudly. Some were talking about their cases, some of their family. Hide sat alone in a quiet corner table, eating a salad he had just bought. He was listening to the other people's conversations but at the same time trying to tune them out.

"Can I sit here?" he heard a soft voice coming from somewhere close by, speaking to him.

"Yeah, sure."

The place was probably full if somebody was asking to sit at the far end of the cafeteria with him.

The person moved the chair in front of him and sat down, only placing a plain cup of coffee on the table. Hide had succeeded in tuning all the voices around him out and was focusing on his own thoughts. He wasn't motivated to work here – not anymore – but he needed the money, so he had to solve the case he's working on. It might be weird to work in a place that stole everything from him, but that's why he was still here. He had nothing left. That was the case for a lot of investigators. As he was getting close to figuring a crucial thing out, the person spoke.

"Hi, I'm rank 3 investigator Sasaki Haise. Nice to meet you." He sounded way too cheerful to be working for the CCG.

 _Wait– that voice! Could it– no, there's no way._

Sometimes Hide forgot that Kaneki was no more. He had lost to Arima, the White Reaper. Kaneki was dead, and he had a hard time believing it. Hide felt lonely. At times, he noticed himself calling his best friend when he couldn't bear the loneliness anymore. Feeling stupid, he would end the call after few rings. No one was going to answer.

The person was waiting for him to answer. "Um..."

Only then Hide raised his head and was met with two grey orbs that were looking at him, concerned. Hide blinked, waiting for the person to disappear; to be only imagination.

"What are you doing here?" Hide whispered in a daze – more to himself than to the other boy.

The figure in front of him looked taken aback. He shifted his eyes on the left away from Hide, feeling uncertain. "Should I not have– You looked lonely so I..." the man – Sasaki – stuttered.

Hide finally woke to the reality. "Oh no no no," he exclaimed, shaking his head. "I was just in my thoughts."

Well this was awkward.

Sasaki took a sip of his coffee, seemingly waiting for him to say something. _Oh right._

Hide offered his right hand over the table. "I'm Nagachika Hideyoshi but call me Hide. It's nice to meet you, too!" They shook hands and Hide's smile spread to Sasaki's lips. "Then you can call me Haise."

Hide studied the curve of Haise's lips, his button nose and round but still angular cheeks. He had fluffy looking white hair with a little bit of black on top. And lastly, he had bright grey eyes that were so full of life. Haise looked just like Kaneki. Hide wanted to cry. His carefree mask didn't crack.

Hide took notice of Haise's single coffee cup. "You're not going to eat anything?" he asked.

Haise looked a bit embarrassed, cheeks turning a few shades redder. "Ah, no. I'm not hungry." he answered, looking thoughtful as he scratched his chin.

Hide was going to explode.

Could this Haise person really be his lost best friend or was he just grasping at straws – desperately missing the only person that mattered to him the most – that he had finally gone mad?

"Do you like books?"

"Yeah, I do." There was suddenly a sparkle in Haise's eyes. "How did you know?"

"Intuition. You look like a nerd," Hide shrugged.

"Oh." Did Haise deflate a bit? If Haise was who he thought he was – or at least a bit similar – he wouldn't mind being called a nerd. So then why... oh. He had wanted to talk about books.

Hide mixed up his already forgotten salad with a fork. The background noise was getting less noisy. "What do you like to read? Any recommendations?" he inquired.

Haise tapped his coffee cup in thought. "Well–"

Hide truly wanted to listen to Haise, but he was blabbering about titles and authors Hide didn't remember the name of. Haise was clearly passionate about books, yet he didn't mention Takatsuki Sen (Hide had finally learned their name).

When Haise finished counting with his fingers, Hide smiled brightly at him. "Thanks for the recommendations! I'll be sure to check some of them out!" He hated how easy lying was and how good he was at it. Fortunately, he only let out small white lies.

The clock was starting to be too close to the end of the lunch time. Hide felt bad for eating the salad in front of Haise who only had a black coffee, which couldn't compete with coffee from a coffee shop – like Anteiku. The cup was almost empty, one sip and Haise would leave.

"Um... I haven't read much books, but... I read The Hanged Man's MacGuffin recently. Ever heard of it?" It wasn't the kind of book Hide would normally read, but it had been gathering dust on his shelf for way too long.

Excited Haise was back. "I read it too a while back! I actually even borrowed it for Arima." Haise furrowed his brows. "He hasn't given it back yet..." he muttered.

 _For Arima?!_

Hide stuffed his mouth full of his lunch to hide his grimace. "Do you borrow books for the CCG's Shinigami often?" His upturned mouth hurt his cheeks.

Haise laughed awkwardly. It was sort of endearing. "Only a few times. We... haven't known each other for long. He's my mentor."

Hide hadn't yet wrapped his mind around the fact that his best friend in the whole wide world was alive and sitting opposite of him. How? He didn't know. A ghoul – even a half-ghoul – working for the CCG was in itself strange, but somehow surviving Arima and now working with him was even more strange and unheard of. Anyway, Hide was glad.

Speaking of the devil, the Death God himself creeped out of nowhere to place a hand on Haise's shoulder. Hide flinched when Haise only gulped down the rest of his beverage, probably having heard him coming. Their lunch break had apparently ended, the cafeteria being empty excluding them.

Hide did not like the scrutinizing look on the man's otherwise emotionless face as he watched him.

"It was nice to meet you, _Haise_ ," Hide piped up.

The boy in question got up and bowed slightly. "Likewise."

This person wasn't Kaneki anymore, Hide had to remind himself. Even if Haise smiled at him kindly just like Kaneki. It hurt.


End file.
